I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
