Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Pants are for mortals
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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