Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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