Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Randomize
