Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Randomize
