Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
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