dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
it glows. i had to have it.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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