didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
