tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
i wish my penis had a tongue
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
