Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
You just made me feel so damn special
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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