idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
