did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
operation harelip BJ is a go
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
