My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
