you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
