so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Randomize
