Got a toothbrush?
I heard we made out
I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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