I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
They took my balls.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Randomize
