It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
i drank out of a bidet.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
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