I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
