Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
