I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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