What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
He passed out mid-signature
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
