It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
