i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
