We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Randomize
