the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
