There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
is that a dick in a sweater?
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
