Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
