Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
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