yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
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