after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
