And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
even my farts smell like vagina
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Randomize
