to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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