Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Randomize
