I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
