i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
