we have pet lesbian snakes
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
