I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
