Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
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