At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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