please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize
