it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
