well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
