Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
