i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Randomize
