Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Randomize
