I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
