I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
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