Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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