dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
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