We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Randomize
