anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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