in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
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