so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize