Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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