If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I enjoy the company of your penis
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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